![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lackingdazehelloooo and welcome to the series where instead of writing new things i go back and nitpick on things i have already written. i actually already have a big habit of doing this every few months once i forget what i’ve written but i figure i might as well try and unearth some kind of improvement marker. maybe my past self can hear my crit through the fabric of time?
first fic up: sicko mode / the love remix
some context
i wrote this fic in the second semester of my senior year of hs. looking back, this was a time in my life when i was fully entrenched in the hashtag realization of my wasted teen years or what not. i spent most of my high school experience just studying and being daunted by a lot of factors that i will not delve into but! the college application process was probably one of the lowest points of my life emotionally, so to come out of it intact and with a summer of freedom in front of me was both very exhilarating and melancholic — and i wanted to write something to commemorate that uh bildungsroman-esque moment!have i said i’m a cancer sun/mercury yet or…..
i’ll admit, the fact that this fic is based off sicko mode gives me pause and also cringe ^__^ like ok…. though i can’t deny the fact that sicko mode is just one of those songs that reminds me of being a high school senior.just like mo bamba reminds me of my freshman year in college…..wow is this really my coming of age soundtrack…..
from a newly minted standpoint
i always say sicko mode is one of my favorite fics i’ve ever published and i honestly, i’ll probably stick by that for a very long time. this is not to say that i think it is particularly well-written <3 but i think taking in the time context is important here.
aside from basically projecting my teen angst onto nahyuck’s interactions, i think this was one of the first fics where i really started to delve into the prose style that i have now. when i started fic writing, i was very much a “write as i think” type of writer (we can unearth all my cringey supremekermit archive content another day). the more i wrote and read, the more i became conscious of trying to produce a “literary fiction”-esque style. for me, this meant a lot of extended metaphors, pseudo-abstract imagery, turns of phrases that hit the spot just right (or at least, land close to the mark).
with sicko mode, i was trying to balance a more comedic style with this more uh pre- “do i want to major in creative writing” style. it emerges in sicko mode at a few select points. most notably:
like wow. i would write this a bit differently now (probably shift around the sentence structure) but that last band-aid bit <3 i’m gonna pat my 17 year old self on the back for that metaphor.
if i were to rewrite this…
this needs more meat. reading through (prob for like the ninth time or something), i’ve noticed quite a few scenes where i snag on awkward transitions. or sometimes, things just happen wayyyy too fast. for a fic that is about nahyuck, i don’t think i spent enough time characterizing jaemin beyond him being the residential californian turned nyu stern apex predator.
i attribute this to my younger self being a serial edit-as-i-go type of personand to be honest i’m still trying to break this habit, but it’s gotten easier as i’ve gotten more lax with my writing. being pedantic about the flow and making hasty edits (then refusing to let the final draft sit) definitely lead to some parts of the narrative being stitched together hastily. this is also something that i am working through as i grow my writing, but alas…
there’s not much i would change about the actual structure of the fic tbh. i think the nonlinear timeline works, especially with the idea of how frenzied a party is. i would spend a lot more time immersing the readers in the setting — really etching out the atmosphere of the party and how it intertwines with donghyuck’s emotional state. i’m actually not mad at the little snatches of donghyuck’s college acceptance scenes. honestly, they could be even shorter and it would still work! but i think i needed to spend more time in the present moment, donghyuck in the party, donghyuck interacting with jaemin, etc. it certainly would help to have jaemin and donghyuck sort of dance around each other more to build up the tension to the last scene, which imo reads rather forcefully.
and wow i did renjun so dirty. he deserved more character time. if i had like 5k more words, i could’ve written in unrequited markren hah
but i’m still gonna defend…
JAEMIN BUSINESS MAJOR NATION. not so much a nation and more like me annoying everyone with my headcanons on the tl(flashback to that time my friend said that my type is business majors like huh…). but you can thank this fic for my frequent jaemin antagonism <3
also this line:
wrapping things up
overall, sicko mode / the love remix will always be one of my dearest fics becausei projected so hard into it and i think it’s a stark marker in my prose style progression. it’s always nice to be reminded that i have, in many ways, grown in my writing and in my ability to see my writing rationally ^__^
i had a lot of fun writing this… i will probably do another one soon instead of writing something new because writing fic lately has been like pulling teeth.
i know this was just me ranting to myself, but i’d love to hear any of your thoughts on writing/the fact that i wrote a fic based on a travis scott song/the fact that sicko mode was my 2019 spotify song of the year/how annoying it is that i keep striking out all my tangents <3
more of my future writing meta can be found here.
find me on: curiouscat | twitter
first fic up: sicko mode / the love remix
some context
i wrote this fic in the second semester of my senior year of hs. looking back, this was a time in my life when i was fully entrenched in the hashtag realization of my wasted teen years or what not. i spent most of my high school experience just studying and being daunted by a lot of factors that i will not delve into but! the college application process was probably one of the lowest points of my life emotionally, so to come out of it intact and with a summer of freedom in front of me was both very exhilarating and melancholic — and i wanted to write something to commemorate that uh bildungsroman-esque moment!
i’ll admit, the fact that this fic is based off sicko mode gives me pause and also cringe ^__^ like ok…. though i can’t deny the fact that sicko mode is just one of those songs that reminds me of being a high school senior.
from a newly minted standpoint
i always say sicko mode is one of my favorite fics i’ve ever published and i honestly, i’ll probably stick by that for a very long time. this is not to say that i think it is particularly well-written <3 but i think taking in the time context is important here.
aside from basically projecting my teen angst onto nahyuck’s interactions, i think this was one of the first fics where i really started to delve into the prose style that i have now. when i started fic writing, i was very much a “write as i think” type of writer (we can unearth all my cringey supremekermit archive content another day). the more i wrote and read, the more i became conscious of trying to produce a “literary fiction”-esque style. for me, this meant a lot of extended metaphors, pseudo-abstract imagery, turns of phrases that hit the spot just right (or at least, land close to the mark).
with sicko mode, i was trying to balance a more comedic style with this more uh pre- “do i want to major in creative writing” style. it emerges in sicko mode at a few select points. most notably:
Under the stupid disco light from the centerpiece of the room, Jaemin’s face is a mosaic of tinted shadows, shifting and turning with every bass beat that bangs against the walls. His eyes flicker, blue, purple, pink, and it’s like Donghyuck is five again, staring at the blobs of color from a lava lamp Jaehyun had brought home. Pulling his eyes away feels like ripping off a band-aid.
like wow. i would write this a bit differently now (probably shift around the sentence structure) but that last band-aid bit <3 i’m gonna pat my 17 year old self on the back for that metaphor.
if i were to rewrite this…
this needs more meat. reading through (prob for like the ninth time or something), i’ve noticed quite a few scenes where i snag on awkward transitions. or sometimes, things just happen wayyyy too fast. for a fic that is about nahyuck, i don’t think i spent enough time characterizing jaemin beyond him being the residential californian turned nyu stern apex predator.
i attribute this to my younger self being a serial edit-as-i-go type of person
there’s not much i would change about the actual structure of the fic tbh. i think the nonlinear timeline works, especially with the idea of how frenzied a party is. i would spend a lot more time immersing the readers in the setting — really etching out the atmosphere of the party and how it intertwines with donghyuck’s emotional state. i’m actually not mad at the little snatches of donghyuck’s college acceptance scenes. honestly, they could be even shorter and it would still work! but i think i needed to spend more time in the present moment, donghyuck in the party, donghyuck interacting with jaemin, etc. it certainly would help to have jaemin and donghyuck sort of dance around each other more to build up the tension to the last scene, which imo reads rather forcefully.
and wow i did renjun so dirty. he deserved more character time. if i had like 5k more words, i could’ve written in unrequited markren hah
but i’m still gonna defend…
JAEMIN BUSINESS MAJOR NATION. not so much a nation and more like me annoying everyone with my headcanons on the tl
also this line:
No amount of lip balm Jaemin religiously slathers on will ever solve his perpetually chapped lips.
wrapping things up
overall, sicko mode / the love remix will always be one of my dearest fics because
i had a lot of fun writing this… i will probably do another one soon instead of writing something new because writing fic lately has been like pulling teeth.
i know this was just me ranting to myself, but i’d love to hear any of your thoughts on writing/the fact that i wrote a fic based on a travis scott song/the fact that sicko mode was my 2019 spotify song of the year/how annoying it is that i keep striking out all my tangents <3
more of my future writing meta can be found here.
find me on: curiouscat | twitter
no subject
Date: 2020-12-27 08:19 pm (UTC)